Just My Luck

I've been thinking lately about fate, luck, coincidence and the laws of attraction about which everyone is all a-buzz. I understand the premise behind "The Secret", (which, by the way, is clearly not a secret anymore) and while I do believe, to a certain extent, "what goes around, comes around," I'm not convinced there is a definitive method to all the madness that is life or that we always get what we ask for or deserve.

I'm a big believer in putting positive energy into the world and I also believe if you commit to an idea, the universe will meet you half-way. But, nobody knows exactly why things happen the way they do, or why, against all efforts to the contrary, we find things in our lives we had no intention of having over for tea. Scientists have one theory, theologians have another, Girl About Town...has yet another.

The universe has wicked-ass sense of humor.

Case. In. Point.

Last week, the universe thought it would be a good idea to send both a spider and a water bug crawling across my bed...while I was still in it. The water bug alone, nearly caused me to relocate (not to another part of the apartment, to a new apartment). The spider, well that was just cruel. I find it hard to believe I attracted said insects or that the universe was unclear about my distaste for bugs in general considering I fantasize daily about the complete extinction of the entire insect kingdom. And, the untimely death of all snakes. Hate snakes. Nasty, sneaky creatures that are always up to no good.

Yesterday, the universe found it in good taste to send a bird to drop a giant doody on my car 5 minutes after I spent $12 having it washed. Now, I ask you. What did I do to attract bird doody? Had I disturbed or offended said bird in some fashion, or committed some inequity against fowl in the past, I would understand it's retribution and justification for using my car as it's toilet. Having done no such thing, I take complete offense...and warn said bird to sleep with one tiny eye open.

I leave you with one final example in support of my theory- my new gym is filled with really good looking guys. 99% of them...are gay. If I listen really hard, I swear I can hear the universe snorting as he chuckles.