10 Things I Learned in 2010

1. Christmas goes by too quickly.

2. Everybody is on Facebook. Or, as the film industry likes to call it, "Cha-Ching!"

3. Twitter is the new Facebook. Or, as the film industry likes to call it, "2011's Cha-Ching!"

4. P90X was actually designed by Kim Jong-Il as a means to torture Americans. And, who owns a chin-up bar anyway.

5. The Secret can suck it. I've been "secreting" snow in LA for 3 years and have yet to see a flake. Not a snow flake, anyway. Perhaps, I should have been more specific.

6. Not having a roommate is Heaven. Having a roommate is the place below hell where the people who fail hell go.

7. Comedy is hard.

8. I may not be a good redhead.

9. Parking garage columns are strategically placed in your car's blind spots...by Geico.

10. "Dogs don't say goodbye."

RIP Ginger. I will never stop missing you.

10 Things I Hope to Learn in 2010

This post requires no introductory paragraph as the title is self-explanatory (ok, I'm watching Gray's Anatomy and I am too lazy to think of an intro).

Ten Things I Hope to Learn in 2010

1. Why should I use a water-saving shower head when, due to its penchant for sputtering out insufficient trickles, it takes me thrice as long to rinse the shampoo out of my hair? Personally, I think it's a wash. Pun intended.

2. I can't believe it took me this long to realize that Bill Clinton closely resembles one of The Muppets. But, which one...

3. I just blew through $70 worth of Starbucks gift cards in under 2 weeks. At what point does does this become something I should be hospitalized for...?

4. Is it better to waste water washing dishes, or waste paper using paper plates? Saving the planet is some tricky business.

5. My dog is 13 1/2 and walks at a snail's pace. Slower, maybe. In fact, often, I have to carry her outside because she can barely walk at all. Until she sees another dog. Then, suddenly, she can canter. Something is rotten in Dogville.

6. I will never be a truly fulfilled person until I learn all the words to "We Didn't Start The Fire." It has been taunting me from 80's radio for years...

7. What is all the fuss about Lost????? Is it really THAT good?

8. Where is my Bluetooth? Where are ALL the things that go missing from my apartment? I'm an extremely neat, organized person. So, I either have a poltergeist or a mental disorder. I'm not sure which I prefer.

9. Wikipedia. How do they know everything. Seriously.

10. In light of the vet telling me Dog About Town will likely only be with me for a few more months, I need to know- Do all dogs, in fact, go to heaven? I'm counting on that to be true.